One easy, breezy Saturday morning chilling with a cuppa… I stumbled across a YouTube channel of a content creator that I follow on other social media. I watched a selection of different videos on the channel and whoa!
The focus for the channel is introduced in each video and that message is reinforced through the language used throughout the videos. That’s really effective in terms of content creation technique. That reinforcement of the message makes it clear that I haven’t misinterpreted the focus is levelling up your life by becoming more elegant and classy.
I am confused and a bit uncomfortable, so wanted to explore my thoughts and get some of yours too.
The channel has some great content and talks about being authentic, gives life hacks and other little things you can do that make your life easier. Sounds great so far, right? Yes, and it truly has some great content. A lot of the actions suggested are things I do in my own life.
So what makes me uncomfortable about this?
It’s the ‘why‘ that bothers me. Being elegant and classy.
Why DOES that not sit right with me?
The words elegant and classy are what trouble me.
The words elegant and classy relate to external perceptions. There is a focus on how people see you, how you look to other people. It’s about seeming organised and together, and feels like the focus is for other people, not for yourself. It’s not about how you really are or how you feel inside. That feels inauthentic.
I’m all about levelling up and self-reflection, personal growth to make yourself more confident, authentic, and feeling good about yourself from the inside out.
Some of the tips I’ve seen so far on the channel are great for making your life easier – for you. I really dislike the focus on ‘do this to seem more elegant and classy’ rather than ‘do this to make your life easier for you’ or ‘try this to help you feel more confident’. The goal of becoming elegant and classy feels very inauthentic and hollow.
One tip was the lightbulb moment for me. It was about spending a little more money on a fancier venue for lunch or dinner. That’s something that I think is really nice to do every once in a while, to treat ourselves and make ourselves feel special with a bit more of a luxury experience.
In my 20s when I lived in London and was experiencing the high life while single, and with city money. But in my 20s, I was doing this for acceptance. I did this so people would think I’m cool. I didn’t realise it at the time though.
Now I’m in my late 30s, I do treat myself with a luxury lunch or dinner every so often. The difference now is that I’m doing it for myself. I’m doing it to treat myself after an achievement or after a bit of a rough time, either way it’s to make me feel good. Not for showing anyone else. If you’re not doing something for the right reasons, are you going to be truly happy?
Changing behaviour to make ourselves more palatable for others doesn’t sit well with me. How can we maintain a balance of being authentically ourselves, while changing our behaviour to suit what society thinks is acceptable? If we all pandered to what society expected of us, there would be no change, and no striving for equality, especially growing up in Britain.
I understand the Feminine Revolution principles, and it’s about reclaiming activities that others have seen as ‘less than’ simply because they are feminine qualities. I have never understood the feminine revolution to be about conforming to society. I understand it to be the opposite, reclaiming femininity for ourselves, not to appease others.
Then again, who am I say to say what the right reasons are?
Is it actually fine to seek external validation, as long as it makes you happy? Hmm, nah that just doesn’t sit right with me.
It’s none of my business how someone creates their own social media content, but I feel that framing these really great tips and life boosters as ways to get external validation is exactly what causes people to chase after the life they see on social media.
So my question to you is…
Does it really matter how the advice is framed, as long as it’s good advice?
Does how it’s framed affect what you with the advice?
Does how the advice is framed change the outcome?
Final thought. Well, you know me, I can’t leave this post without throwing a good meme in.